I’ve been making a lot of decisions lately it seems. It’s odd to make such decisions that you know will affect the rest of your life. I spent so much time trying to figure something out, and then I woke up one day and wanted to do it differently. I’ve never been into planning things out…college kinda forced that upon me. I love the moment to moment living. It’s so much easier to listen when your life is that way.

Part of what I’m saying here is that I’m shaving 2 years and a major off of my time here KU. I’m doing it because two days ago I just suddenly felt like that’s what I should do.

There’s so much music that brings me back to points in my life when i hear it. But there’s barely anything that brings me back to some point in college. The summer before college is packed with it, though. And know its because I’m not living by the moment. I wanna live like that again. Things have been so hectic and emotionally conflicting. And a lot of it comes from me living by my own will. I would even acknowledge that i wasn’t listening, but did nothing about it. I remember when i was choosing a college. I felt like i should go where my friends went. I couldn’t tho. So i just went to the next place i felt called to. There was no other questioning. I love it.

In a conversation i had a little over two years ago with a friend, I told her that I wasn’t worried about my future, because I knew that God had plans for me and i trusted that completely. That is where I want to be again.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my room lately. It’s been peaceful. I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve been asking questions, and getting some answers. I don’t get many clear cut answers, mostly fragments that i don’t entirely understand. But it’s just enough to know what to do at times.

The summer without heartbreak is 7 days from completion.