by Corey Campbell

You lack it all. But live your life, be your god.
You have yet to think beyond and above.
Tell me, what knowledge have you obtained?
What secrets have unlocked by your brain?

The deepest questions, you rarely ponder.
When will you? After death will you wonder?
“There is no god,” your life’s anthem proclaims.
You have figured it out, done, end of game.

Your years will pass and you will stay the same.
“There is no god,” you’ll boast along the way.
Life’s deepest question, you’re certain you know.
“I exist by natural means alone.”

How easily you’ll die, at peace knowing
That this fear of death, is nerve cells firing
Plunging into darkness, softly you’ll lay
Knowing certain, “There is no god, no way.”

Accomplishments for 2008

1. Made web connections
2. I finally bought Civilization the Boardgame and played it
3. I upgraded my computer
4. I got a car
5. Taught class at Rock Solid
6. Joined a cause ministry
7. Placed 3rd in Mock Rock
8. I got a sound system for my car
9. Watched Plan 9 from Space
10. I have an overall GPA of 3.70

Resolutions for 2009 in no Particular Order

1. Get CJ to visit Paola
2. Make a Portfolio and Resume
3. Get an Internship
4. Fix my sunroof
5. Figure out the sound my car makes when I turn left
6. Be more understanding of others situations
7. Learn Flash
8. Learn ASPX
9. Memorize Ephesians
10. Set a weekly excersize routine and stick to it (it’s the thought that counts)

And what are yours?

I’m a bit distraught with how life has been dished out lately. I guess I just don’t like change. I love all my friends dearly and it’s just really hard to let them be. It just kinda sucks not being able to be involved with one another like we once were. As each day pushes on it seems like a little bit more of my past is ripped away. I spent today thinking about each person in my life and how they influenced me. It was absolutely remarkable and heartbreaking at the same time. I long so much to be a part of their lives again and it just keeps slipping away.

I’m not sure if it’s me or them… i’m not sure even if anyone will read this as it rolls through the facebook feed, but I know one thing for sure: I’ll always cherish everyone. I forget to call, people forget to call, I forget to message, people forget to message. Some people might even deliberately not do such things, but it doesn’t matter.

So many family holes, so many friendships thinning… my life feels a bit more empty than usual. I guess I’m just distraught about it all. It’s funny that I find myself alone while I write this. First day in a long while where no one has been around.

I wonder how many people I’ve pushed out of my life. How many I’ve scared. How many I’ve hurt. How many can’t stand being around me. How many don’t love me anymore. How many I’ve turned away. How many I stepped on. How many think I’m arrogant. How many think I’m pompous. How many think I’m too judgemental. How many fear talking to me because I talk about God with them. How many leave me because they think such things.

Friends…

I just want to know if I’m doing something wrong? Is there a reason you don’t want to be around me? or to call me? or to text me? or email me? what is it? I wanna know if I’ve done wrong to you…

I miss you all. I love you. I’m sorry.